Round 2, feeling great!

Off to my second round of chemo. I am feeling very strong, after a good night's sleep. Colin went to register for school early, in time to be back here to take me. I bought some pedialyte, and am also taking my supplements from my nutritionist.
I am looking forward to the first weekend of football. A great way for me to relax.
Off.....
Nancy

Reality check

Today I had my appointment with my Physician's Assistant, prior to my next chemo. currently scheduled for Thursday. I went in armed with a ton of questions, especially related to my recent stay in the hospital, and my related side effects. Basically, she told me in a nice way, that let's not lose sight of the purpose of my treatments. To eliminate any straggling cancer cells, and to protect my overall health. If I have to boost my white blood cells again with neupogen, and it gives me bone pain, we will deal with the bone pain. Not take a chance with any possible infections etc. It was kind of what I needed I guess. Sonny said it is sort of like listening to a coach, and in training. That is a good way of looking at it. I have to stay focused. Of course, I told her that it would have helped if there was someone who I could have talked to while all of this was going on. I felt like I had an ER doctor, an internist, etc,etc, but no one spoke to an oncologist. I now have her business card.
Also picked up my wig today. It feels really weird. I can't see me wearing it except for really important work related issues. I am looking forward to getting my new hats.
Thank you Clelland's and Olney's for the great meals! Delicious!
I can't believe that school will be starting next week. Schedules!
Thanks for checking on me.
Love, Nancy

Hair today, gone tomorrow!

Well my hair has been falling out over the last two days. Yesterday I gave Mairin the OK to cut it to 1/2 inch all over. We had fun. Tomorrow Shannon will take off the last of it. I was surfing the web and googled "softhats" and found softhats.com. They have so many cute hats that are made for chemo patients! If you know anyone going through chemo, check out this site. I even got a 'sleep hat".
Here is my list of reasons it's good to be bald!
Get to wear pretty scarves and hats.
Get to wear a wig!
With a bare head, your head stays cool in hot weather.
Can be an official member of the Britney Spears fan club, for life!
You can actually see what the shape of your head is.
Don't have to worry about your roots or grey hair showing.
Save money on haircuts, styling, and products!
Save time by not having to do your hair!
No bed head!

Feel free to add to this list if you can think of any other reasons, to support Bald is Beautiful!

Although, Mairin did a fantastic job cutting my hair, I don't think I will post a photo on my blog.
Thanks for checking on me.
Love,
Nancy

good news....while getting an IV

Today was supposed to just be a blood test. Colin drove me. Before the nurse stuck me I started feeling faint (took this cue from Colin in the old days). Blood pressure of 84/60 which was the reason for my "lightheadedness". They wheeled me up to urgent care and gave me a liter of fluid. They said I was not drinking enough water. HUH! I'm not just drinking water, I'm drinking Smart Water...and it seems like gallons. Oh well. While I was "drinking my IV" the blood test results came back. All good news. My WBC recovered to 3.9 (from a low of 1.4) and my platelets and RBC were all good. Yeah! That is particularly good news because after my shot yesterday, I developed intense bone pain. Now I don't have to get these shots. The pain should wear off in a couple of days. Meanwhile, the urgent care doctor gave me a shot of something for the pain...and for the first time I got loopy! I didn't care for the feeling. I came home and "slept it off". I am behind on my thank yous: Mary for coordinating the dinner schedule and moral support, Lena for the super suppers, Kathy for the smart waters, MaryAvis and Rick for the Woodranch dinner and all of the extras, including the beautiful plant,,,,,,and also the Dance Moms who have been driving Mairin to and from dance. Diny for the scarf and encouraging words,,,and so sorry if I have left anyone out. My Mom would be so disappointed in me for saying thank you ,,not just in an email, but on a blog no less!!! Tacky, tacky. But I'm too tired to do it any other way. Good night and thanks for checking in on me. love, Nancy

bones, dem bones...

No one mentioned to me that the injections that stimulate new blood cells,,,,give you bone pain! It is a cumulative effect. Yesterday about an hour after my injection...I was in agony. My hips, back, legs, jaw and well, all my bones hurt. Weird feeling. Can't get comfortable. My doctor OK'd vicadine, which I haven't taken for about a month...and combined that with ambien. I crashed out. Today I am going to have my blood drawn,,,and am keeping my fingers crossed that I won't have to give myself any more injections.
The side-effects of the side-effects..of the side-effects .etc.etc. ......crazy.
I still have my hair though!
Thanks for checking in with me...
I really appreciate your comments and emails...afterall I am in isolation in my bedroom. I think I will send Colin out today for some tabloids.
Nancy

No hugs or handshakes,,,for now at least...

I'm home. I was released last night. Even though my count is still low, the Dr. agreed that I could just as well be in isolation at home, as easily as in the hospital. So they sent me home with masks, and my meds, including shots that go into my abdomen. Colin has so generously offered to do this for me. Considering his past background with fainting at the sight of blood, I think we are making real progress here! He was such a help to me, getting me to the ER, and Mairin too. I also had so much help from the Mellos,,,thanks a ton.

I will be checking in with my emails. Send me funny stories, jokes etc...I will be stuck in my room by myself for the next few days at least. Help!

Love,

Nancy

hey everyone, it's Colin and if a lot of you guys are wondering why my mom has not been able to return your calls and stuff it's because she was recently re-admitted to the hospital due to a low white blood cell count. (she has a very low count of 1.7 and will probably remain in the hospital till she reaches a 3.0.) As much as she would like to see visiters, she is in isolation and unable to see anyone. I will keep this blog updated as soon as I hear new things!

good-bye Sonny! Kick some butt at Harvard!

Well, we sent Sonny off, back to Harvard this morning on the early, 7 am flight, JetBllue out of Long Beach. (turns out, Coach Mickelson from MVHS was on his flight) We will miss him so much! Needless to say, he is a large presence in our home!
This has been such a fun summer, having him on the west coast, even if it was spent for the most part up in Santa Monica with his internship. Evolution Capital was such a blessing, as were his fun-loving roommates. Some highlights include: surfing at SC pier with family and friends for his 20th bday, Karrie's 50th, complete with camel, the amazing apartment in Santa Monica, his "party" in the apartment in which they invited neighbors and their first guests were the cute Russian elderly couple who brought a plate of appetizers; more surfing, dinners with the great guys from work at fabulous LA famous eateries, and of course being flown to Las Vegas on the corporate jet,,,for a weekend of well....he said they had fun!
For me personally, having him here on the west coast was huge. He helped me soooo much with my devastating news, and was with me in the hospital, and at home for recovery, and took me to my first chemo. Sonny, Colin and Mairin are my pillars of strength! I am so blessed to have such great kids, that truly love each other and have fun together.
Sonny is going to kick some butt in football this year! He is so excited ! I will keep everyone posted about the games, and if they are on satellite TV. He is #49. He promised me when he left that I will be a motivation for him, not a distraction. Maybe I will send him a little tiny pink bow to tie on his cleat, for luck!

New Do, two.

OK,,,I tried to replace the other picture from the last entry....but it wouldn't let me. So here is the new one that Sonny took of me. He says I have a more natural smile in this one..

New short do!

Went to Shannon today, at Top Notch Salon,,,,and said "take-it-off"! I figure I have about a week to 10 days left of hair, so I thought it would be fun to see what it felt like to go short! So here it is. Don't worry, I won't post a picture of me bald! Maybe with my wig though!

Doing well, thank you!

Today was definitely a much better day. I noticed more energy and forgot to take my anti-nausea medicine! I guess I don't need it anymore. I'll save it for next round. These last few days since my first chemo have felt kind of like the tail-end of the flu or maybe like you are really really hungry and your tummy rumbles. I've been extra careful about what I've put in it.
I went back to the doctor yesterday about my continued chest pain. Left feeling frustrated. But today I felt much better. I just have to kind of get used to this until after the first of the year and my reconstruction. It seems to be pain related to the expanders and the nerves
starting to regenerate.
I want to say thank you to Kelly Webster for the delicious dinner, and my first scarf! Also, thank you so, so much to the MVHS Song team! Your thoughtfulness and generosity brought tears to my eyes! I am so thankful that Mairin is surrounded by such a wonderful , supportive team.
Friends, I really appreciate your emails, cards and inspirational quotes and prayers. Believe me it all helps.
Thanks for checking in on me,
Love,
Nancy

In the chemo chair

Well, here I am in the chemo chair. Notice the 2 necklaces that I have on. Michele gave me one with amethyst,,that has lots of positive energy. My friend Sherry Conover gave me the other amethyst necklace with the breast cancer icon on itl I was so proud to wear them.

I am home now. Feeling OK. Sort of waiting for the yucky feelings to start. I got IV anit-nausea medicine that is supposed to last until 9 tonight. I took my nutritionists advice and drank a mix during chemo...and then came home and the post shake. I am also drinking tons of water. Strange to think that in a week or so,,,,I'll be bald. Oh well.

My friends and family have been keeping me in good spirits.

thanks

Nancy

Busy week,,,getting down to the wire.

It has been an interesting couple of days. Yesterday morning I went to my plastic surgeon who again wanted me to postpone my chemo until my reconstruction was completed, maybe a few months. He didn't seem to think that my chemo was of an urgent nature. (He requested my oncology doctor's number to discuss with her....I put the brakes on that and said it was my decision to go ahead with the chemo.) My reconstruction however depended a lot on my muscle-tightness and scarring nature. It was going to be hard to expand them after a few months. I explained that I was really OK with that. He proceeded to put in 150 cc's in each. For comparison sake, last time I had 50 put in. And now my nerves are coming back. It is much more painful. They look a little fuller...but they feel like someone took duct tape and wrapped it as tightly as they could! I can hardly breathe. And moving is painful. He said that he usually waits 2 weeks between expansions, but since I was not going to postpone my chemo he would make an exception and do one more expansion on this Thursday, the day I have my first chemo. For some reason I felt like I owed this to him. He is actually a very nice man, and seems to have my best interest at stake. He thinks that somewhere down the line I will really want more than just small B's. That he is mistaken about. Guaranteed. At this point...still not being able to breathe, I think I may cancel my Thursday appointment. The good news is that he may be interested in buying a house,,,and his nurse too! Maybe I won't cancel my appointment, but show up with lots of real estate info!

Today. I had my nutritionist appointment. My sister-in-law Michele told me about her. She is in Costa Mesa. She made a lot of sense to me. She provided me with some drinks to have during chemo, and then right after. They should help minimize my side-effects. The expense is well worth feeling better during this chemo time.

Then we went to my chemo. orientation. Sonny, Colin and Mairin came with me. I was a little testy (OK they would say bitchy). I don't know what got into me except that this was IT. They tend to joke around when they are nervous, and I well, don't joke when I am nervous. We had to go over all of the possible side effects, and what to do in each scenario. Some included going to the ER, and others involved daily shots, Colin and Sonny actually offered to do them for me. We took a tour and saw all of these patients hooked up. It totally depressed me. No one was any younger than 65. They also don't have room for family or friends to stay with me. They have to go to this pathetic small waiting room. I can't wait for the new Kaiser at Sand Canyon to open up. I remember Michele saying that she made some friends during chemo....well everyone was napping when I was there, it didn't look like they were interested in making friends.
OK happy ending..
Happy day...a wonderful turkey dinner from MaryVictoria Tayor! We were really starving when we finally made it home from the chemo appmt. Thank you so much! Then not less than 10 minutes later, Tami Perez showed up with enchiladas and etc etc.....including homemade salsa! Then we saw a black SUV pull up and drop something off and dash off before we can get outside,,,Max Klapp and family dropped off some Costco necessities!
I also got a moving card from my sorority sister Heidi with a TJ gift card.....which made so much sense because my nutritionist really stressed organic food for me while I am on chemo.
MaryAvis and Rick and RJ delivered the BEST steaks and accompaniments on Sunday...we enjoyed them immensely...and also had steak sandwiches. It really means so much to me and me kids ......thank you...thank you. I know that I am forgetting some people that really have gone out of their way to help me. Sorry! You know I love you!

Everyone keeps saying how strong I am. Well, I'm not. Most of the time maybe. But now I feel really vulnerable. Having my kids with me today,,,meant so much, but also made me feel how fleeting life is. I am so glad that they get along so well. Silly jokes and all. I worry about the little things.....and stress out. Back to school shopping!!! Getting Sonny healthy and back to Harvard...and not having him worry about me.
You know what....I AM strong. I will be fine. Sorry for the temporary relapse!
I love you!
thanks for keeping tabs on me and my family,
Nancy

Fun night in the Palisades!

Thank you to the Barnetts for a great sendoff for the Princeton and Harvard Boys! Also at the Barnett abode were the Goodwin's from London, the Alesi's and their exhange students from Japan, the Mello's, and various other party goers. The food was great and obviously the view and company. For a last minute get together...no one does it better than the Barnetts! Thanks!

End of internship! What a great summer.

Here is a photo of 3 of the 4 roommates from their summer internship at Evolution Capital, in Santa Monica (Peter was at his home in Palos Verdes at the time of the photo). Carl is the gentleman on the left, starting DT for Harvard, from Maryland. Rob is a running back for Princeton, from New Jersey, That is Sonny on the right,,duh. The east-coasters learned how to surf during their CA stay...and vow to come back and live the southern California lifestyle! Carl and Sonny are looking forward to playing Princeton this year and aiming for Rob!

My extended family,and the boys second home "Chez Barnett" will miss the guys and their fun-loving personalities. Keogh, the surf coach will also miss their crazy antics on the waves!

Thankfully, Karrie took hundreds of photos to remember the east coast boys' time in Calif.

When she sends some,I will post them for you all to see.

We love you guys!

Nancy, Colin, Mairin

Boob Viewing and more

Well, here I am ...at home...both Colin and Mairin are at the beach..afterall it is summer. They should be at the beach. Sonny is celebrating the end of his internship with a little jaunt to Las Vegas on his boss's private jet,,,,staying at the Wynn...then back tomorrow. I already lectured him about taking it easy...going to bed early and making sure he takes his medicine so he won't have a third relapse....he assured me that it will just be a trip of r and r......nothing crazy. Does he think I have not seen those commercials "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas"...
Oh well.
Yesterday Colin drove me to my MUGA scan. He did a very good job. Last scan that I had to do before chemo. We then drove to the wig shop and ordered a wig. It was nice to have Colin and Mairin's input. Add one more expense to this ordeal. Not that I couldn't do without a wig. I go back and pick it up,,,once my hair falls out...so they can do the final fitting on my bald head. Fun!
Wed. night Colin drove Mairin and me to Balboa Island to visit with the Flynn's and also say hey to Fitz. It was a nice little get away for me.
At the vet this morning the nurse volunteered to show Mairin and me (probably would have shown Colin too...but he was parking the car) her newly reconstructed boobs from her double-mastectomy from a year ago! She was so proud! I think Mairin and I were a little shocked....but then we were able to eeck out a little,,oh..my yes they are lovely. Tattoed nips too I see! and I considered myself not too modest.!!! Yikes! .....she did tell me that they give you steroids during chemo...so be prepared to gain a lot of weight! That is the first I have heard of that. It is on my list of questions for my doctor.

Well, it has cooled down a little a bit...so I am off for my walk.